Thursday, March 19, 2015

Stupid Cancer

If anyone has followed my facebook the past few days you have seen a lot of post about my handsome hubby rocking some sweet cancer gear. I got introduced to by his support group corrdinator. I noticed, which it isn't hard to see, that Josh has a confidence issue since being diagnosed. He lost his hair. He gained weight. He constantly tells me "I wonder if people wonder what wrong with me. I am not missing a leg. As far as they can tell nothing is wrong. I wonder if they think I shouldn't be here." Many things like this are said to me on a constant basis. We live in an apartment building with many many people missing arms, legs, and even half of their body. So I can understand why my some what healthy looking husband wonders if anyone wonders whats wrong with him. His illness is invisible to those around him. I have even noticed when it comes to the booths set up around the building that hand out free stuff to the wounded warriors. Josh always gets over looked mainly because he isn't constantly in a wheel chair or missing limbs. It breaks my heart when he really wants to do something but they over look him because he looks healthy. They assume everything is okay. After months of noticing this, I couldn't take it anymore. I went online and have found shirts and hats that show support. I don't want my husband to walk around with a big sign saying "Hey look at me, I have cancer." But I want my husband to be treated equally. I want people to not take pity but to realize that just because his illness isn't visible, he is still a wounded warrior and he matters. Today he gained a little bit of confidence.

I have also noticed how, for a lack of better words, much of an asshole some people can be assholes towards him. My husband has NEVER used the cancer card. He will never ask for special treatment. He doesn't believe that anyone owes him something because he has cancer. That's never been him. It's never been me. We just don't do that. But people stare. People stare hard. I honestly think it would be better if they just came up and talked to him. But those people that stare don't have enough guts to do that. We went to a hockey game for our anniversary. Now, I have never had a problem with getting his pills in or a bottle of water. Never had a problem with explaining it was used for medical purposes. Hell, the WHITE HOUSE didn't care. They have four security check points and every single person understood and didn't give me any crap over it. But back to the hockey game. I had a water bottle in my purse, like I have done million times over. The same place that we had just gone to the previous week for a basketball game, took my husband's water bottle and threw it away. I was furious! I explained over and over, he needs it for his pills. He needs it because his weed pills give him dry mouth. And damn it, it's just water! It wasn't opened. It wasn't like I brought a case with me. It was one single bottle and she threw it away. She told me that I had to buy water. All $4.50 for a bottle. A BOTTLE. When I brought in a bottle from my house that was perfectly fine. But no. So after walking away, Josh goes "I really should have used the cancer card." Like I said, my husband is very passive. He avoids conflicts. Me on the other hand, I gave her a piece of my mind. Later that night I was laying in bed thinking how embarrassing it must have been for my 27 year old husband to have his wife fight his battles. I was a little embarrassed (not by much, it wasn't like I cussed her out..though I wish I would have!) and tried to think of a way for him to fight his battles in his passive aggressive ways. 

Behold, the literal cancer card! 

All I can do is laugh. Yes, it's a little crass. But people can be assholes, so why can't he be one too? I had to get a 100 of these suckers made, so you best believe we will be using them! 

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