Monday, October 19, 2015

Loving every minute

Looking at my calendar I realized that October is almost over and I still haven't updated on September! A few weekends ago, I worked on the blog itself. I spent the day trying to figure out why my pictures were not showing up. After a little bit of research and me literally sitting down all day fixing all the posts, I am happy to see the pictures finally showing up! is my update on September...half way though October..I swear, I will get this blog on schedule once again!

For the first time in a few months, Josh was able to start chemo on his schedule time. His blood work came back good, so no delays this month. He took his chemotherapy like a champ. Nine sessions in and I am still in awe on how well he handles it. He powers through the fatigue. He forces himself to eat, even when he doesn't want to. He treats the nausea like a seasoned veteran. I try to make chemo week easy for him, we limit activities and I make sure his schedule is clear for the week. 

September offered us the start of football season! Now, I am an avid sports fan. I don't know player statistics and I don't care to know everything about sports, but I do have my few teams I follow and I do know enough to get through a game. My lovely husband however, could care less about sports. He will watch the game and luckily he does know what's going on, but getting him to go to a game is a struggle. (unless it's hockey, then he will actually buy the tickets himself, lol) Since we live on base, and since people are so generous to Wounded Warriors, we often get tickets offered to us. We have to act fast and sign up, but since it's a small group, we usually get tickets to what we want to do. This year, I made it my goal to take Josh to a professional football game. I didn't care who was playing, I just wanted him to experience it. (plus, we hit all the other pro, hockey, basketball..might as well hit football while we can) Lucky for us, they had tickets to the first game of the season, Redskins vs Dolphins! I was so excited and was happy to see Josh was to. We received tickets for a suite. Perfect view of the game and even though they lost, we still loved every second of it! I actually signed us up for the game the following week which was the Redskins vs Rams. We won that game!

*Disclaimer, For anyone who is tired of seeing us doing totally freaking awesome things, please feel free to unfriend me on Facebook. I have heard a few times "wow, I'm so are so lucky!" No. We are not. We are getting free tickets and cool opportunities because my husband has cancer. In no way shape or form are we posting things to brag or to throw it into peoples faces. Yes, we get free suite tickets to sporting events. Yes, we get to meet awesome people and celebrities. But at the price of my husband going through treatment for cancer. I would give it all back if it meant my husband wasn't in this situation. But since we are, we are living our life and getting perks along the way. So, like I said, if that annoys anyone or if you're tired of us having so much fun, please unfriend me. Plus, you won't like whats coming in dare we have fun!* 

What else happened in September....OH! Josh celebrated his 1 year of being smoke free! I read a few blogs that said you shouldn't celebrate being smoke free. I'm not entirely sure why, but it was mainly because it's a day to day battle to not smoke...well so is every other addiction so I decided to do what I want. We celebrated by going to Georgetown Cupcakes in Bethesda! I ended up buying half a dozen and still had to share some with my brother and his family. So. Many. Cupcakes. But I know he loved it. It was something to celebrate. The kid that swore he would never quit smoking, did. Not saying the year was easy for him, but he essentially quit cold turkey and I am so proud that he didn't go back. His smoking was always a problem for us as I am allergic to it. Before we got married, I would get sick every time I was around him. When we moved in together, I got used to it but I hated the way he smelled and how badly our car smelled. Now, I love walking up to him and giving him a hug and not feeling like I was standing in a smoke cloud. I love that I don't have to frequently wash his jackets and his clothes always smell like detergent. It's so nice! I'm sure Josh would have a cigarette right now if it was offered to him, and I'm sure that's something that will always be with him. But I am proud of the will power he has developed to quit and stay smoke free. 

Lastly, we met up with my brother and his family to do a little trip out to Luray Caverns. I love having family so close that we can do things together on the weekend. Since moving here, I had wanted to go out to the caverns (as they show commercials for it on TV all the time) but we never had a push to go. My brother, sister in law and niece met us out there and we walked the caverns. It was absolutely beautiful. I loved how they grew and more importantly, I loved how excited Josh was over it. I had my own personal guide with me, he taught me everything he knew about it, which was a lot, haha. 

September offered us a lot of memories, but I am also super excited for what the next couple months hold for us. For one, Josh and I are going to speak on a panel at the end of the month. We were offered to talk about getting off of base and doing things at the Navy Safe Harbor Warrior symposium. We have two trips planned in November, one I can't talk about right now and the other is to go home for Thanksgiving! After that, we will be back up in Maryland for a week of Chemo and then a few days before we fly back to Florida for our two week Christmas vacation. Busy busy, but loving every minute of it!

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Looking Back...

The month of September never held any significant value to me. Aside from the few birthdays celebrated in this month, I never really paid much attention to it. I looked forward to it as it eased into my favorite season, fall. But now September holds value. It signifies life changes, struggle, love, hatred, and celebration all in one month.It's been one year since we moved to Maryland. It's been one year since Josh had brain surgery. It's been one year since Josh quit smoking. It's been one year since Josh was diagnosed.

It's been one year.

I don't think that you should celebrate a diagnosis. The day that forever changed our lives shouldn't be honored. I didn't even realized I missed it until I wrote the date the next day. While I hate that day, it has showed us so much this past year.

It showed me how strong I can be.
It showed me how loved I am.
It showed me how much love I have for him.
It showed me how strong we are.
It showed me to stop worrying about stupid things and to live in the moment.
It showed me that money isn't everything, memories go ahead and blow $300 on hockey tickets...the memories are worth it.
It showed me that despite my weak stomach, I can pack gauze into a golf ball size hole in my husband.
It showed me that chemotherapy is a cold, heartless bitch. It takes a person with so much life and joy, down to nothing.
It shows me that life is worth living.

So yes, we have been through a lot. A lot more than anyone our age should go through. But we are also grateful for some strange way. I am proud of how strong our marriage is. I am in awe of my husbands strength, courage, and commitment to making it through everyday with a smile on his face. Although we have lost some friends on this journey, I am glad for everyone who has stuck around and for those who call or text me to check in on things. To our families, thank you. We wouldn't have made it through this year without the constant cheering and supporting.

A lot of things are changing within the next year or so. I know from our past year that we can handle anything life throws at us. I won't say bring it, because to me that seems like you're just asking for it. But I know deep down that, whatever happens, we are prepared. We will make it through this.